Love's Secret

Never seek to tell thy love,
Love that never told can be;
For the gentle wind doth move
Silently, invisibly.

I told my love, I told my love,
I told her all my heart,
Trembling, cold, in ghastly fears.
Ah! she did depart!

Soon after she was gone from me,
A traveller came by,
Silently, invisibly:
He took her with a sigh.

William Blake

Sigh. I only discovered Blake's poem last night but find I've glimpsed its meaning fleetingly through tear blurred eyes in past loves lost.

Love is mysterious and powerful, yet frail...Never reach for it when its nearby... Never cling to it, never define it, never even try.

Profess it cautiously and only by faint whisper with lips brushing your lover's ear... keep hope but always give love silently in thoughts and deeds; and always give away the things you need and hold most dear.

Blooming Flower

The gardner does not open the petals of the flower. The bloom unfolds as a gift for the butterflies and the bees. The flower is strenghthened by the gardner's love and the gardner enjoys the beauty of the bloom. But, the bloom is for more than the gardner. The bloom cannot just face the gardner because she follows the sun, drinking light's nourishment. The gardner must enjoy sharing the beauty of the bloom knowing the flower lives always in her garden, strong, happy and cared for with love.

Poet's Dream

You are the Poet

and

I am your Poem

Make me something Beautiful

From your Heart

From your Soul

From your Beautiful Thoughts and Feelings

Bring me to Life

To be Like You

Teach me to be the Poet

of Someone's Dream

Love is

(From Pegasus: Nessy Shepherd)

I long to
Mend the holes in your soul and
Pour love thickly warm
Giving forth completely for you, everything for you

You replenish me, refilling, recharging, giving pure energy
Souls dancing; souls connecting; souls growing with
Purity cleansed clean
Accepting that all is as it should be, all is as it is meant to be

Love is simple
Love is

Step forward in crystal pure hope
Accept the timing and rythm that is always there
Float in orbit - effortlessly dance in that direction
Find and feel your soul moving and
Skipping like the happy child in the fresh Spring sunshine

Love is simple
Love is

When we are young, angels dance with our souls
Life's dance of joys, fears and tears
Tilts our head in shame becoming ripped and torn

Lift up, fear not and keep undying hope
Angels will always repair the holes in our souls
so we can dance and dance again

Lighten Up and Move On

The gift of apathy is to become numb,
to release hope,
just laying there breathing with life diminished,
not caring anymore,
closing my stinging eyes,
closing that place in my heart you once owned and
finally sleep without dreams

I cannot help but feel the martyr, selfishly feeling sorry for myself in another realization of loss. Again I feel as if I've been sacrificed as an offering of commitment for another. It's a stupid feeling, very immature, very self-important and oh so very selfish. Why is it always about me? When will I learn truly to live for others?

Strangely, it seems I've been on the crumbling side of a string of triangles. I want to be curious about this rather than sad. Oh, sadness is there and slowly seeps forth if I let it but I am so tired and bored with all that - it has gone on long enough.

Life is and will always be full of triangles, some I've seen can be quite complex and entangled. Triangles form as we build new relationships. New friends have old friends. Old friends sometimes are current friends, sometimes old friends have moved on. This really is all so simple to understand yet as time and familiarity unfold, things can become complex as feelings emerge.

In the beginning of these new relationships, knowlege and understanding of each other is shallow and weak. Communication is guarded at best. Hearts are closed and cautious. Perhaps half truths are shared, but there is much withheld. There is a lack of trust. With hope, patience, effort and commitment, relationships can grow. Sometimes they don't and they become brittle and break.

What is the lesson here for me? How can I find some way to understand and accept that there will be others who choose different directions that they, in their hearts, believe to be best for them? Acceptance and growth or even just simple acceptance is what I need to learn.

Yes these things can hurt my feeling of self worth. Yes it can make me wonder what is wrong with me. Do I hope for too much? Do I have too many expectations? Am I trying to force things and in that find that I am repelling what I most desire? Is it simply not supposed to be? Is this karma for things I have done in my own triangles and in my own choices? Or am I simply in training to steel my heart?

I do not know the answers to these things - it's just Life; deal with it. Lighten up and move on.

Perhaps these are indeed lessons for me to continue to live with my heart wide open, for me to learn to accept with my love continuing for others, to accept what they believe in their own hearts to be best for them and truly support them in all their choices even if that choice no longer includes me.

I do not want to steel my heart. I do not want to close it to those I love. But this can be so very hard.

Lightening-up and moving on...

Beautiful Wings

In splendor and beauty,
she flutters about in random dances of happiness
Flitting from flower to beautiful flower she feasts on sweet nectar
Living full color in the sunshine even in darkness
Does she remember the pain of change?

Is the caterpillar sad as she spins her cocoon enclosing herself in a silk lined tomb?
All she knows is life amidst the bitter green leaves of a single plant
Will she die as breakfast for a swift bird?
Will she survive to die slowly in Nature's call to change?

She begins to understand the signs of change within her
She knows she must accept things as they are and change
She must become a chrysalis and make her beautiful wings

Yes, there is memory
Yes, there is beauty
Yes, there is truth, there is acceptance even without understanding

Joy and happiness follow far behind too slowly

Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit

"Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit," I mumble, my head still under the covers, trying this silly superstition as my first words on the first day of a new month. Clenching fervently I give forth a silent prayer for courage, understanding and growth.

This grand experiement I've been on, to live my life from my heart, has been difficult, extremely difficult. But you know something...? This has exercised my heart and I feel somehow confident that I've become stronger with a greater capacity to feel wonderfully good emotions and give more of myself to others.

It is hard.

Certainly there have been many times where such openness has caused pain. Sadly, this pain has not always been mine and I've seemed to hurt others. For that I am deeply sorry and if I have caused pain in anyone, please know it was the farthest from my intention of giving my heart in loving kindness.

Sadly we do not live enough from our hearts. It seems like it is improper and in some measure actually forbidden. We need a strong mind to overcome our emotions we are told. Have to brace yourself against letting anyone in too close. Need to avoid that pain even before it could have any remote chance of ever swallowing us.

Well I have resolved to live my life from my heart as much as I possibly can. I will always try to be responsible for my feelings and never let anyone or any experience close my heart. I believe with Truth that we are supposed to live this way.

I pray for courage to continue on this path and pray for the confidence to know that my coming experiences will unfold with deeper meaning and with more beauty than whatever has come before them.

Artemisia

A...... Always in All Ways Unfolding
R...... Reflecting on My Direction
T...... Toward New Insights

E...... Excitement and Refreshed Wonder
M..... Moments of Discovery
I....... Insights, Sometimes Intense and Frightening

S...... Silent Beauty that Screams Truth
I....... Inspiring Others through Devotion
A...... Artists